The Super Mario Bros. Movie – Movie Review

First of all, I loved this movie. It was so cute and colorful.

Plot

The Super Mario Bros. Movie starts out in the frozen Snow Kingdom, as Bowser and his army of Kupas go to war with the penguins who live there. Bowser (Jack Black) demands them to open the gates and what proceeds is an adorable snowball fight by the penguins that they don’t even realize did absolutely nothing.

“That is but a taste of our fury! Do you yield?” – The Penguin King

Bowser declines and takes for himself the treasure he was there for, the Super Star.

Skipping to Boston, we hear the distinctive Mario Brothers theme music and see an ad for Mario Bros. Plumbing. It’s a cute commercial but they maybe could have done a better job with their actor choices. Mario (Chris Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day) also definitely overdid it with the Italian accents. It reminded me of one of those old commercials you might see at your grandmother’s house about someone’s mattress store or law office between Family Feud episodes.

But all this aside, the brothers are thrilled with how great the commercial turned out. It was so great in fact that Mario exclaims, “I am so glad we spent our lifesavings on this commercial.” Oh boy Mario, probably not the best investment but I sure hope it works out for you. Mario does worry that the accents might have been too much though, but an acquaintance of Mario and Luigi (cleverly voiced by Charles Martinet, the voice of Mario in the Super Mario games) assures Mario that the accent was in fact perfect.

The brother’s competitor in the plumbing business doesn’t agree with him though. Spike (Sebastian Maniscalco) mocks the brothers mercilessly, asking if they have even gotten one call since leaving him to start their “dumb” company.

Luigi eagerly tells Spike that they have in fact gotten a call, from their very own mother who loved the commercial. Oh Luigi, you’re too precious for this world.

Spike continues being an ass to Luigi, but Mario stands up for his brother. Spike grabs Mario and tells him he is a joke and always will be. It really makes you root for the brothers in their business though, and speaking of which, as Spike leaves, they get their first call! I loved how they used the old GameCube startup sound for Luigi’s ringtone! Really brings me back.

Anyway, off the brothers go to fix their first leaky faucet!

This of course goes comically wrong when Luigi accidentally steps on a beloved bone belonging to their patron’s dog, Francis. Francis seeks revenge on the brothers and in the process, a leak is sprung. A very large leak. A very large leak that threatens to destroy the whole house. Basically, water starts spraying out of every place imaginable. Seriously, look at those leeks.

On a serious note, I loved the music playing during this whole ordeal. Eventually Mario and Luigi finish up their hard day’s work and get home where their family heckles them for their commercial and judges their decision to quit a steady job to chase their dreams. Most of this is aimed at Mario who takes it the hardest.

Mario just wants people to stop telling him what he can and can’t do, so when a giant leak springs in the middle of the city, he jumps at the idea of fixing it and “saving Brooklyn.”

The brothers plunge into the sewers to find the pressure valve and save Brooklyn from flooding, but while exploring the abandoned parts of the sewer, Luigi mysteriously disappears. While looking for him, Mario gets sucked into a warp pipe that seems to be teleporting him through dimensions. He catches up with Luigi, but right after he states, “nothing can hurt us as long as we’re together,” they’re separated again as Luigi gets sucked into a different pipe. Boy let me tell you, Luigi really got the short end of the stick with where he got spit out.

Mario ends up in the cushy Mushroom Kingdom where his greatest dislike was the prevalence of mushrooms, whereas Luigi got sent to the Dark Lands. Bowser isn’t known for being hospitable, so for scaredy cat Luigi, this was truly a nightmare.

Mario is determined though to save his little brother, so when he meets Toad and explains his plight Toad quickly brings Mario to meet Princes Peach who will surely know what to do.

In the castle, Princess Peach is being briefed about Bowser. This giant, angry turtle has possession of the Super Star and is piloting his giant island towards Mushroom Kingdom. That’s a big reason for concern. What does he want? No one knows yet, but everyone is sure he is up to no good. Princess Peach assures the toads that she will not let Bowser hurt them though, and she will enlist the great Kong army to defeat Bowser together.

Mario literally runs into Princess Peach as she leaves her meeting, and she agrees to help him save Luigi since she’s on her way to defeat him anyway.

“Let’s see what you’re made of” – Princess Peach

Mario wants to go with Princess Peach, but before accepting him as a ride along he must complete an obstacle course reminiscent of a level in the Super Mario Bros. games. Princess Peach completes it easily while having fun. Mario, not so much. With the help of a lot of mushrooms (remember how Mario hates mushrooms?) a training montage ensues with Mario ALMOST making it. That seems to be enough for Princess Peach though and she agrees to let him come with her, trying to also comfort him with how much practice she had to put in before beating the obstacle course for the first time. It’s all a pretty translucent although well-meaning white lie though. Princess Peach got it on the first try.

And off our heroes are on a mission to win the favor of the Kong army and confront Bowser!

But in the meantime, we get to see a little of what Bowser’s doing. In a heavy metal wonderland themed party crawling with Koopas, Goombas, and “whatever those things are,” Bowser reveals to his minions what his true dastardly plot is. After laying claim to the Super Star and becoming the most powerful turtle in the world… HE WILL…. marry Princess Peach in a fairy tale wedding. Yup. That’s his plan. That’s what he’s been wanting to do this whole time. His minions aren’t very enthusiastic about it.

“Doesn’t she hate you?” – Well-meaning Koopa

After a kind of cute moment where Bowser describes the things he loves about Princess Peach (all physical by the way) one not so smart Koopa asks what the plan is if she says no, and what was once a softer side of Bowser disappears as he bathes the Koopa in fire and announces that in that case he will power up with the star and destroy the Mushroom Kingdom. Oh Bowser. I was really rooting for you but that’s some serious ick factor.

Meanwhile a group of shy guys escort a bound Luigi away on their very fast hot air balloon. Luigi reminisces of the simpler times when Mario was there to save him from his bullies, but now that seems so far away as Luigi is stuck here by himself.

Back in the Mushroom Kingdom, Princess Peach and Mario set off on their adventure accompanied by Toad who refused to be left behind.

I’m not going to spoil the rest of the movie for you (and there is so much movie left). Will Princess Peach and Mario win over the Kong army? Will they be able to defeat Bowser and save Luigi? After an iconic serenade will Princess Peach fall madly in love with Bowser and live happily ever after? Will a tiny blue star warm our heart with its adorable nihilism? Find out all this and more by watching The Super Mario Bros. Movie! (It’s on Netflix)

My Thoughts

“There’s no escape; the only hope is the sweet relief of death.”  – Lumalee

I really liked this movie. It was cute, well thought out, and colorful. I also have a soft spot for movies that take you to a new world and Mushroom Kingdom was somewhere nearly anyone would want to be!

I enjoyed the homages to Super Mario Bros. gameplay throughout the movie, like as the brothers ran through a construction zone and in Mario’s training montage. Watching the movie also put me in the mood to play Mario Kart, so I get how to some extent this movie was an ad for Nintendo games, but I’ll forgive it since it was so well done. And you can’t forget the absolute classic song this movie gave us, “Peaches” sang by Jack Black as Bowser. My dude, Jack Black can freaking sing. I already knew this from some other stuff I’ve seen him in but jeez.  

Pretty much the only constructive criticism I have of The Super Mario Bros. Movie is slow motion was a little overused – we only needed one slow motion “Mamma Mia.” But all in all, I think it was a great, wholesome movie.

That’s it! Curl up on the couch with some popcorn and check out The Super Mario Bros. Movie! Let me know what you think about it!